What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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