If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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