I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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