My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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