My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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