party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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