I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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