3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
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So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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