I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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