really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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