I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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