I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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