I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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