I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
only you would photoshop your dick
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I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
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this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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