Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I wish i was in the wii world.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize