So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Randomize