you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize