Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
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He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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