i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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