you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
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Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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