Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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