Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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