Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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