My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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