i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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