Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize