Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
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I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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