I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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