Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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