so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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