I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize