fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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