Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
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Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
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Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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