just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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