Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
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you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
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when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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