I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize