I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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