I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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