this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
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The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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