That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
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She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
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Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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