so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize