Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't deserve a penis
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's not a walk of shame if you run
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize