lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
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I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
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I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
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