Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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