God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
home. puking in laundry basket.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
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