i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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