Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize