I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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