i jhust puked up my retainher.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize