I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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